The article discusses the importance of pausing during disagreements to avoid reactive behavior. The author shares a personal experience of debating with a colleague, John, over politics, highlighting how a pause helped shift the dynamic. Instead of responding defensively, they opted for a face-to-face meeting, which led to greater understanding and resolution. The concept of the 'strategic pause' is introduced, emphasizing that pausing allows individuals to shift from a judgmental or inferior mindset to recognizing shared humanity for more productive conversations.
By meeting in person, John and I demonstrated that we both really cared about each other, and we ended up not only resolving the disagreement but also learning more about each other's upbringings and communication styles.
Taking repeated breaks from conflict can improve the odds of reaching an agreement. I call this the 'strategic pause'.
Most shutdowns happen when we're stuck in Superior or Inferior mode. We lash out or retreat.
This is different from disappearing. It's about signaling your intent to return (not escape) and taking responsibility for how you want to show up.
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