#conflict-resolution

#conflict-resolution

For the nine years we've been a couple, my husband and I have taken countless flights together. We've visited family in the Carolinas, Tennessee, Montana, and Maryland. We've wandered around the Duomo in Florence, enjoyed tacos and tequila in Mexico City, and explored the breathtaking Normandy coastline. Now that we live in London, travel has ramped up. We're in our late 20s and early 30s, and wedding season has us flying back to the US on a near-monthly basis for our friends' nuptials ... in addition to other scheduled trips.

I wrote something short (less than a page) that I thought was truthful and adequate. I inserted my name in the signature block but did not sign it. I told him he could edit it, expecting he would send me the edited version. He added text about projects we'd worked on together, plus awards he'd gotten and been nominated for. The day of the application deadline, I wrote him for the edited version and learned that he'd submitted it.

Exclusion and ridicule are especially painful experiences of indignity. Violations of dignity, whether obvious and intended, or subtle and unintentional, are emotional injuries that evoke feelings of shame and anger, defensiveness and withdrawal, and, often, a need to retaliate in some form. Hicks notes that the pain caused by injuries to our dignity is equivalent to physical pain and processed in the same areas of the brain.

Massey: Alcohol and forced family fun play a role, but underneath it all is our biology. Human beings are one of those species that can't survive alone-we're hardwired for connection because our survival depends on belonging to a tribe. When someone attacks our beliefs, the automatic part of our brain reacts as if we're in danger. It doesn't know the difference between a tiger in the wild and a relative on a rant.

And then there are the harder landmines: the offhand political remark, the joke only a third of the table finds funny, or the question that hits a little too close to home. Tension itches under the surface. You can feel your pulse speed up. Your jaw tightens. Someone's voice rises. This is the moment the Stoics trained for. Not the holiday itself-but the split-second before you respond. This is the Stoic's holiday negotiation rule: Don't react. Negotiate.

Q: I've been dating this guy for a couple of months now, and it's mostly going great. However, whenever we have a disagreement or an argument, it goes pear-shaped. It seems like he just says the opposite of what I say just to wind me up, and he refuses to back down or compromise. Sometimes it happens in bigger conversations like politics, but often it's smaller things and I don't know why he finds them to be such a big deal. I'm left feeling frustrated and hurt.

And while these factors are good enough to bring two people together, love alone is not strong enough to keep a relationship healthy and thriving. A partner who does not respect you can quickly turn the relationship dynamic unhealthy in many ways. You might still feel deeply for each other, and love may be present, but without respect, boundaries get crossed, and conflicts only escalate instead of being resolved.

You know that saying, "intent is not equal to impact"? That is, just because you didn't mean to say something racist doesn't mean that what you said is not racist. It's not enough to just have good intentions-you need to actually consider the impact that your statements and actions will have on others. We can certainly take intent into consideration, but someone who repeatedly relies on having good intentions as an excuse is operating in bad faith.

Your friend made a joke that hurt your feelings. Your partner ignored you after you came home from a hard day at work. Your mom said something critical about your parenting. A colleague insisted on chairing a committee that you were next in line to lead. When these upsetting behaviors happen, you have a choice. Should you say something about it or let it go? How do we decide whether an issue is worth bringing up?

It is healthy to make space for them to tell their story and show care for how it affected them,

When the mere thought of raising an issue with a loved one fills you with dread, you are likely experiencing confrontation anxiety. Yet, navigating through confrontations is crucial for sustaining a loving and genuine bond. Our research shows that when conflicts are addressed in a healthy way, they can actually draw you closer, fostering deeper understanding and trust. Let's explore how you can transform conflicts into opportunities for growth, paving the way for richer, more fulfilling connections.

It's too bad I had to do these things instead of the United Nations doing them, Trump said. And sadly, in all cases, the United Nations did not even try to help, in any of them. I ended seven wars, dealt with the leaders of each and every one of these countries, and never even received a phone call from the United Nations offering to help in finalizing the deal.

Just the prospect of interacting with that person can be unpleasant or feel draining. There is a powerful tool that is often counterintuitive for quickly shifting your approach with such people and finding opportunities for breakthroughs. After making this shift it becomes possible to communicate effectively and in a more positive way with them. And you tend to find them much less annoying.

Emotionally mature partners take good care of their own emotions and remain sensitive to yours. You feel safe around them. You can speak your thoughts out loud without the fear of being judged or belittled, and express when you're hurt without questioning whether it will be used against you. During an argument, they don't lash out or stonewall. They listen with curiosity instead of being defensive.

Assertiveness is the ability to express your feelings, thoughts, and needs in a way that is clear, honest, and respectful. It is the balanced space between passivity and aggression. Passive behavior avoids conflict at all costs, often leading to resentment, frustration, or a loss of self-respect. Aggressive behavior, on the other hand, aims to overpower, control, or punish, creating fear and disconnection.

Passive aggression is a subtle, cloaked, or covert means of expressing anger. It is rooted in anger and plays out in virtually every area of life.

The end of violence in Baltimore is a litany of stories that weren't told in 90-second clips on the evening news, about shootings that didn't happen.

The leaders of Armenia and Azerbaijan signed a peace agreement at the White House, ending decades of conflict with US involvement, including key transportation routes.