In Slate's Care and Feeding advice column, a reader expresses frustration over her sister's new boyfriend, Dave, who monopolizes family time during visits. Despite being amicable, Dave's presence has become overwhelming, making the reader feel like a bystander. Attempts to avoid overlap during family visits are thwarted when her sister adjusts their plans to accommodate Dave's desires. The reader grapples with feelings of discontent yet is torn by her parents' emotional responses to her visits. The column explores ways to assert boundaries while maintaining family relationships amidst such dynamics.
I feel like a fifth wheel when we are all together; my parents seem to always be in 'hosting' mode when he's around, and all the focus is on my sister and Dave.
I bought tickets home for the holidays specifically to not overlap with them, but then, three days before I arrived, she changed her plans to overlap with mine.
How do I get the point across that I'd rather not spend all my time as an audience member at 'the Dave show'?
My parents tell me it breaks their heart if I don't come home, and my sister seems not to be able to go anywhere without him.
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