"Years ago, I identified "personal control" as a key component of a resilient outlook and a resilient life. I defined personal control as the ability to focus our time and energy on factors over which we have some influence rather than on situations over which we have little, if any, control. Resilient people have learned to cope effectively with challenges and adversity and demonstrate personal control."
"In contrast, those who are not resilient typically lack personal control and are burdened by low self-worth, frustration, anger, and resentment. Given how frequently I've witnessed in my clinical work with both children and adults the consequences of limited personal control, it became a primary focus of my work. The following are just a few examples: A 9-year-old boy who had recently been diagnosed with ADHD asked, "Why did God choose me to be the one with ADHD? It's not fair.""
Personal control is the ability to direct time and energy toward factors within one’s influence rather than toward situations beyond control. Resilient people focus on controllable factors, cope effectively with challenges, and exhibit personal control. Lack of personal control associates with low self-worth, frustration, anger, and resentment. Limited personal control appears across ages and contexts, including children with ADHD, strained marital interactions, teachers frustrated by student behavior, and adults with learning problems. Questioning why adverse conditions happened fuels a victim mentality. Emphasizing attitude and responses offers a practical locus of control for improving resilience.
Read at Psychology Today
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