Psychology suggests people who were never taken seriously as children grow into adults who either compulsively over-explain or go completely silent - and both responses are the same wound wearing different clothes - Silicon Canals
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Psychology suggests people who were never taken seriously as children grow into adults who either compulsively over-explain or go completely silent - and both responses are the same wound wearing different clothes - Silicon Canals
Over-explaining is a behavior rooted in childhood experiences where voices are minimized. This leads to two survival strategies in adulthood: chronic over-explainers who justify their presence and those who remain silent. Anxiety, rather than ego, drives the need to over-explain, as individuals fear misunderstanding or rejection. This behavior can be exhausting, as it involves anticipating objections and providing unnecessary evidence for opinions, reflecting a deep-seated need to validate one's worth in conversations.
"Over-explaining often stems from trauma, anxiety, or people-pleasing habits. When children's thoughts and feelings are consistently minimized or ignored, they internalize a powerful message: their voice doesn't matter unless they can prove it deserves to be heard."
"Psychologists have found that over-explaining often stems from anxiety, not ego, as individuals fear misunderstanding or rejection. Every time I offered a simple opinion at work, I'd follow it with paragraphs of justification."
"Think about how exhausting this becomes. You're not just sharing information; you're constantly defending your right to exist in the conversation. You anticipate every possible objection, address concerns that haven't been raised, and provide evidence for statements that don't require proof."
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