The Perils of the Overconfident Perfectionist

"Perfectionism is an illusion for several reasons. The first involves the belief that perfection exists. The second involves the belief that one is special enough to be able to achieve it. And the third is the overconfidence involved in what one believes they know and/or can know. Perfectionism is self-esteem run amok, even if one doesn't consciously say or even believe they're perfect. Their sense of their own flawlessness is exhibited through the plethora of instances in which they're unwilling to admit any fault."

"Perfectionism is all about appearances. While perfectionists obviously prefer to actually be perfect, they often settle for appearing perfect, as the foundational fear of the preoccupation is the fear of exposure, having one's flaws presented in public or at least to significant others. Thus, the perfectionist often presents with a high degree of overconfidence, strongly believing that confidence is valued most in the wider society."

"To be fair, the defense of overconfidence is often, but not always, unconscious -perfectionists lie to themselves maybe more so than to others. They find it at least just as challenging to admit their limitations to themselves as they do to others. Some believe they need to be brilliant to be loved. Some believe the truth will eventually catch up to their lies, and they'll become who they pretend to be."

Perfectionism rests on three illusions: that perfection exists, that one is special enough to attain it, and that one knows or can know more than is true. Perfectionism manifests as self-esteem run amok and a reluctance to admit faults. The core fear is exposure, so perfectionists often prioritize appearing perfect and adopt overconfidence as protection. Confidence becomes a tool to shield from reality rather than a marker of skill or truth. Self-doubt framed as weakness leads to hiding limitations and pretending expertise. In moderate amounts, self-doubt signals responsibility. The defense of overconfidence is frequently unconscious, with some believing brilliance is required for love.

Read at Psychology Today