"Well, yes mom. I did. Why? I didn't know how to say no. Hell, "no" wasn't even in my repertoire. I did whatever I needed to keep the peace. Keep a good GPA. Keep money in my bank account. But now my inability to set a boundary when it came to honoring my own happiness was officially catching up. After six years of marriage, the truth of never wanting an "I do" in the first place had crept up in a myriad of ways,"
"After my divorce, I started therapy. That's where I'd learned just how much my lack of boundaries had been sending me running in circles my whole life. Ignoring my own needs had become second nature. It ensured things didn't change. It ensured people stuck around. And as it'd turn out, it also ensured I stayed employed. And, at the heart of everything, it ensured some part of me felt safe."
Years of prioritizing appeasement produced safe but unfulfilling choices: accepting a marriage that was unwanted, maintaining grades and work, and keeping relationships that required self-sacrifice. Chronic inability to say no sustained employment and social stability while eroding personal goals, creative ambitions, friendships, and identity. After six years and escalating inner resistance, the marriage ended. Therapy revealed pervasive boundary deficits and taught boundary-setting as a tool for self-preservation. Saying no replaced automatic acquiescence: declining plans, skipping belittling family gatherings, and distancing from friends who could not respect limits. Boundary work restored autonomy, recovered time for writing, and clarified priorities.
Read at BuzzFeed
Unable to calculate read time
Collection
[
|
...
]