"I offered to host instead because her in-laws live in my state, and I have bedrooms to spare. Her in-laws are great-except for the brother's wife, "Dana." I'd heard stories, but I thought maybe my sister was exaggerating. She wasn't. I have never met Dana, but that didn't stop her from emailing me a list of demands to accommodate her pregnant self and her 10-month-old at my home."
"She said I needed to get baby gates, baby-proof everything, and even buy a pack and play because she didn't want to bring hers. I also had to make sure I had her favorite brand of coffee, bread, and other expensive organic crap. Also, she said I needed to get my home professionally cleaned because she has allergies. I forwarded this insanity to my sister and asked her and her husband what the hell?"
"That's when they told me that, despite Dana only being in the family for three years, she calls the shots because she's the mother of the only grandchild and everyone is sure she will cut off access if offended. And she offends easily. For example, my sister sent her a diaper bag as a gift and Dana got offended, because while it was the brand she wanted, it was the wrong color."
It is the sister's turn to host in-laws, but she may move; the host offered her home because relatives live nearby and there are spare bedrooms. One daughter-in-law, Dana, sent a detailed list of demands including baby gates, baby-proofing, a pack-and-play, preferred brands of coffee and bread, expensive organic items, and a professional cleaning for alleged allergies. Family members tolerate Dana’s control because she is mother of the sole grandchild and is believed likely to cut off access if offended. The host refused to cater to these demands; the brother-in-law offered to pay, leaving the host feeling trapped over principle and boundaries.
Read at Slate Magazine
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