"I have a widowed longtime friend who is like a family member to me. He attends all our holiday meals. However, his partner of several years has become a problem. She became aggressive at our daughter's engagement party, arguing with my best friend over politics. She wouldn't back down when asked to change the subject. She even demanded that my friend leave my house, which of course I would not allow."
"This sounds like a better conversation to have privately with the longtime friend with the understanding that you are asking for his help in finding a way for everyone to get along, rather than coming in with a ready-made solution. (Certainly do not say that you are considering uninviting them to the party.) Miss Manners suggests this approach because you will learn where you stand."
A longtime, widowed friend attends family holiday meals with a partner who repeatedly creates conflict by bringing up divisive politics, arguing with guests, and even demanding someone leave the house. The partner continued the behavior despite being warned that the group avoids political conversation. The recommended approach is to speak privately with the longtime friend, asking for his help to find a way for everyone to get along rather than presenting a ready-made solution or threatening disinvitation. A private conversation can reveal whether the friend will cooperate or whether the relationship may be untenable long term.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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