"DEAR MISS MANNERS: In 2023, I gave my husband's niece a lovely wedding shower at a restaurant. It included lunch and mimosas. The luncheon was about $1,500 with gratuity. I also paid for the cake, favors and game prizes, to the tune of another $500. I also gave a gift ($100). My husband gave another gift from their registry. Our son (a cousin of the bride) and his then-fiancee also gave them a wedding gift."
"They lived in the same town as this couple, and they occasionally had dinner with them. The niece/bride is an attorney, her husband is a social media influencer, and they are worth millions. They live in a million-dollar home. Fast-forward to our son's wedding in 2024. It was in a town near where they all live. My son and his wife did not have a wedding shower. They do well themselves. My family came in from out of state and paid for their own hotel rooms, airfare and car rentals."
A family member hosted and paid heavily for a niece's wedding shower and additional gifts. The niece and her husband later failed to give tangible wedding gifts to the host's son, causing hurt. The niece and husband are financially well-off and live locally, while the host's family traveled from out of state and incurred expenses to attend the son's wedding. The niece is now expecting and planning a baby shower. Strong feelings about reciprocity and fairness have arisen. The recommended approach is to avoid public confrontation, set personal boundaries about attendance and gift-giving, and address issues privately only if necessary and calmly.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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