It sounds like the impasse may be that he doesn't want to talk and you don't want to have sex. And that if he could talk and listen and understand what page you are on, you might not be so averse to sex and, similarly, if he had all the sex he wanted, he might feel secure enough to talk.
True and lasting love isn't all about the meeting of physical desires so much as it is about a profound understanding of each other's vulnerabilities and an acceptance of the imperfections that come with them.
Maybe he finds it makes him feel too vulnerable to have conversations about this face to face, so writing to him like you have done could bridge that gap and foster better communication.
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