When the bill came, it sat on the table for a while; neither of us touched it. Eventually, I picked it up and asked if she wanted to split it, and she said yes immediately. I was caught off guard because she had clearly said beforehand that she wanted to treat me, so I hadn't expected to pay. It's not about the money
Your friend made a joke that hurt your feelings. Your partner ignored you after you came home from a hard day at work. Your mom said something critical about your parenting. A colleague insisted on chairing a committee that you were next in line to lead. When these upsetting behaviors happen, you have a choice. Should you say something about it or let it go? How do we decide whether an issue is worth bringing up?
Most textbooks and self-help manuals about communication are based on models that are seldom about what is between and beyond the interactions of individuals. There is assertiveness training, refuting irrational thoughts, conflict resolution, and so on. All without the infinitely wider contextual applications of living. Adversarial disagreements and polarization are at a high level, and couples therapists are overloaded with the presenting problem of "They are having communication discord."