Psychology
fromPsychology Today
18 hours agoWhy Avoiding Your Emotions Makes Them Stronger
Avoiding thoughts and emotions often intensifies them, while small shifts in response can help manage emotions effectively.
The turtle technique is often introduced to children to help them manage strong emotions, guiding them to pause, breathe, and step back before reacting. It sounds simple, yet it carries depth when practiced with intention.
We tend to think of the five-day workweek as a law of nature, as certain as the rising of the sun. But it's nothing of the sort. The five-day workweek is a human invention that was introduced just over a century ago to solve the specific problems of the industrial age. By now it's so ingrained in our lives that we've forgotten we created it in the first place-but we did create it and we can also un-create it.
In the interview, Tweedy dropped a line that's been echoing in my head, "Do not postpone happiness." This is so deceptively simple yet psychologically sharp, and it rings true to how I try to live my life. Most of us don't mean to delay joy. We tell ourselves we're being responsible: After this deadline...after the kids are older...After I lose the weight...After I finally feel less anxious...then I'll really live.
The shoulds are a type of cognitive distortion (unhelpful thinking habit) that can lead to judgment. You may judge others, for example, 'They shouldn't act that way,' and yourself. In this post, we will focus on the shoulds you direct at yourself, though the strategies may be helpful for all cognitive distortions.
When I visited flourishing groups, I noticed that being with them felt different. They possessed a vibrancy, a switched-on responsiveness that showed up in their bodies. Their posture, in general, was relaxed; their heads were up and their interactions were fluid. Aliveness was the word I kept writing in my notebook: a feeling of being carried along in a river of energy that was headed somewhere good.
Human psychology is characterized by a paradoxical structure: The same species that wages war, destabilizes ecosystems, and creates collective threats also develops moral systems, empathic abilities, cultural innovations, and an increasing desire for internal harmony. In my previous post, I explored the possibility to transcend our paradoxical nature through learning. This contribution focuses on learning to see through the nature of our vulnerability.