You've encountered them: people who feel like life is an ongoing struggle filled with endless problems. Or perhaps this is how you feel. There are valid reasons to feel this way. When you think about your life, it may seem like it's only filled with pain, regret, and tragedy. It's easy to hear someone say, 'just be happy,' but that can sound dismissive and trivial; the person speaking clearly doesn't truly understand your pain, and at some level, they don't seem to care.
As human beings, each of us is at once perfect and a work in progress. As we grow and expand our knowledge and understanding of the world, we sometimes experience setbacks and failures. We sometimes make mistakes. Some of those mistakes, long after we have made them, loom large in our minds and persist in our thoughts, so much so that we are burdened with regret and remorse for the hurt and harm we have caused others.
I'm sure you've come to know that bereaved parents are a tightly wound group that is easily triggered. There are the obvious ones, like the anniversary of your child's death, their birthday, or any number of tragic milestones and holidays. We know that they're coming each year, and we prepare ourselves for how we think we're going to feel, which is very often worse than what actually happens.