The people who laugh hardest at their own pain aren't resilient. They learned early that if they set the tone for how their suffering was received, nobody else could decide it was worse than they were prepared to admit. The humor isn't processing. It's perimeter control. - Silicon Canals

"The funniest people in the room aren't always processing. Some of them are patrolling. They learned young that if they could make others laugh at the thing that hurt them, they controlled the frame."

"Humor absolutely can serve as a genuine coping mechanism. Research suggests that humor activates feelings, thoughts, and physiology in the opposite direction from stress, helping distressing emotions to dissolve."

"But there's a version of humor that does the opposite. It doesn't dissolve distress. It disguises it. And the disguise is so convincing that even the person wearing it starts to believe their own performance."

Humor is often seen as a sign of resilience and emotional health, suggesting that those who can laugh at their pain have processed it successfully. However, many individuals use humor to patrol their emotional wounds, preventing others from probing into their pain. This form of humor creates a boundary that protects the individual from pity and scrutiny. While humor can genuinely help in coping with stress, it can also disguise distress, leading individuals to believe in their own facade of happiness.

Read at Silicon Canals