The article emphasizes the challenges of addressing conflicts and offers guidelines for effective communication. It underscores the importance of initiating difficult conversations, often led by the calmer party, and highlights the use of first-person "I-messages" to reduce defensiveness. By focusing on personal experiences rather than accusatory language, both parties can foster a more open dialogue. This approach not only promotes understanding but also aids in repairing ruptures within relationships, making it easier to express feelings and achieve resolution.
Holding Conjugation Memories: Stay in First Person. Anyone who took a foreign language class in school will likely remember the conjugation exercises that addressed the need for subject-verb agreement... However, when aiming to have a clarifying conversation with someone in your native language, it is recommended that the first-person "I-messages" are used most often.
Both sides deserve to be heard and to share, but the less dysregulated individual likely needs to begin the process. Hopefully, some clear communication can dislodge the roadblock and allow there to be more of a bidirectional conversation.
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