"You may not want to hear it. You may not want to admit it. But sometimes in life, it isn't your partner that's the problem. Not your ex, your boss, your childhood. It's you. When I work with clients, they view being the problem as a "bad" thing. It isn't. Seeing your contributions to the outcomes in your life is a powerful moment for personal growth. Here's the thing: If you are the problem, you are also the solution."
"It means what you are perceiving outside of you to be "reality" isn't always what is happening. It's what you're filtering in your mind and calling reality. Now, there is reality: A chair is a chair. But people's opinions of reality can differ so much. Why is it that the co-worker you think is a jerk can be another colleague's friend? It's because we see the world through our own filters, beliefs, values, and memories."
Personal interpretations and unconscious programming often create recurring problems in relationships, work, and life. Perception is interpretation: people filter external events through beliefs, values, memories, and emotional triggers, which shape reality. Intense emotions reveal triggers; tracking situations, reactions, and patterns increases awareness. Repeated negative outcomes indicate unconscious patterns directing behavior. Becoming conscious of these patterns allows intentional change. Accepting personal contribution to problems reframes responsibility into empowerment: being the problem also means being the solution. Conscious reframing and addressing triggers and programming enable durable personal growth and different outcomes.
Read at Psychology Today
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