I'm 37 and I just realized that the reason I have no close friends isn't because I'm hard to love - it's because I learned young that needing people was dangerous - Silicon Canals

"The realization hit me with the force of something I'd been circling around for years without ever quite landing on. Because when I really think about it, when I trace back through my relationships, there's this consistent thread: I excel at the beginning stages. I'm great at making connections, at those first few months of friendship where everything feels exciting and new."

"What if the problem wasn't that I'm hard to love? What if it's that somewhere along the way, I learned that needing people, really needing them, was dangerous?"

At 37, the individual reflects on their limited close friendships, attributing it to being different and hard to love. Observing a colleague's long-term friendships prompts a reconsideration of this narrative. The realization emerges that the fear of needing others may be the root cause of their withdrawal from deeper connections. They excel at initial stages of friendship but struggle as relationships deepen, leading to a pattern of pulling back and ultimately losing closeness.

Read at Silicon Canals