After a decade, as others might contemplate retirement, Simon decided to retrain as a boatbuilder. We relocated to a stunning coastal town. He studied and then created a business with fellow graduates.
I lived with this exhausting logic until I was 30, when good changes in my life shifted my focus, and I worried less about mum. But cancer soon shattered this truce and she died at 62.
Worrying about her hadn't kept her safe, so it was pointless. Or ... had worrying less allowed her to die? Having found Simon's all-embracing love, I was taking no chances with losing him too.
I told one friend about my relentless worrying and she became the voice of reason when Simon was late getting home or not answering his phone. I needed her incredulity.
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