The author reflects on the profound impact of grief following the loss of a loving mother-in-law and the end of a dream to have a second child. This journey led to unexpected emotional turmoil, revealing deeper, often hidden grief tied to past experiences and health issues. Initially overwhelmed by self-judgment, the author learns to accept her feelings and find kindness for herself in the face of loss. Ultimately, the piece illustrates how painful experiences can lead to growth and a redefining of one's purpose and family dynamics.
"Our painful experiences aren't a liability-they're a gift. They give us perspective and meaning, an opportunity to find our unique purpose and our strength." -Dr. Edith Eger, The Choice: Embrace the Possible
The visceral, raw grief that came after we made the decision shocked me. When we had first honestly discussed this idea, I felt excited to build our life as a family of three. I deeply knew our family was complete.
At first, my negative, self-critical talk took over, giving me a hard time for what I was going through. Full of self-judgment, regret, anger, and shame.
Grief for all that had been lost. For all that wouldn't come into being in the future. Invisible to the outside world.
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