The article examines the complex nature of high agreeableness, often seen as a positive trait, yet it can lead to negative outcomes like burnout and resentment when individuals struggle to assert themselves. It offers examples of individuals like Elena and Renzo who embody excessive niceness at the cost of their own well-being. The piece concludes with practical advice, suggesting that instead of aiming for overnight assertiveness, one should start small to establish boundaries while maintaining kindness, highlighting that being real often outweighs being simply liked.
Instead of trying to become assertive overnight, start small. You can be warm and kind without being a doormat. Being liked feels good. Being real feels better.
Psychologists have long studied the trait of high agreeableness-a personality marker associated with kindness, empathy, and cooperation. Research indicates that individuals who score high in agreeableness often struggle with establishing boundaries.
To her co-workers, she was the glue that held the team together-always pleasant, always helpful. But behind closed doors, Elena was battling migraines, sleepless nights, and a creeping sense of invisibility.
I thought if I were good enough, they'd naturally treat me well. I didn't realize I was teaching them to ignore me.
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