#aquaphobia

#aquaphobia

Many people going through grief, infertility, loss, or prolonged stress find themselves quietly withdrawing from family gatherings, holidays, baby showers, weddings, and even casual get-togethers. Often, this is explained in terms of not wanting to get triggered. That explanation is valid. Triggers are real, and the emotional pain can be sharp, sudden, and last for hours. Framed this way, stepping back can feel like a very good form of self-care.

Tunnel vision happens when your mind zooms in on a single "threat cue" and filters out everything else. In this case, the threat cue might be: "He was young." "It was cancer." "It seemed sudden." "He probably didn't see it coming." Your mind grabs onto these details and begins building a narrative: "Cancer is everywhere." "People are dying young all the time." "It's inevitable that I'll get something serious." "If I do get sick, there will be nothing I can do."

"If I had an intrusive thought, I'd restart the walk from the bus stop," she says. "I was genuinely terrified that if I didn't redo it and something happened, it would be my fault".