"Piano piano" is an old Italian saying that sounds nonsensical, but is actually full of wisdom, especially if you, like me, are finding yourself wishing away these frigid winter days and hoping spring and summer gets here fast. These days, I've found myself rushing from one thing to the next, frustrated at the smallest things, from post office lines to just missing my train. And I'm ready to make a change.
I have been dating Rita for four months. We peck on the lips, hug and hold hands, but we have had only one real kiss so far. Rita was first married for 22 years to an emotionally abusive man and then remarried to a manipulative one. She said we were going too fast and she wanted to slow down. I understood and have exerted no pressure on her.
Patience is a capacity to endure difficulties, frustrations, and suffering with some sense of calm. Perseverance, self-regulation, and judgment are components of patience. Patience can help you manage your emotions, reactions, and responses in stressful situations. While positive psychologists don't specifically name patience as one of the top 24 character strengths, it is seen as an important element of human behavior. Strengths researchers propose that patience is an amalgam of several recognized character strengths, including perseverance, self-regulation, and judgment (Niemiec, 2018; Peterson and Seligman, 2004).
Virtues such as compassion, patience, and self-control may be beneficial not only for others but also for oneself, according to new research my team and I published in the Journal of Personality in December 2025. Philosophers from Aristotle to al-Fārābī, a 10th-century scholar in what is now Iraq, have argued that virtue is vital for well-being. Yet others, such as Thomas Hobbes and Friedrich Nietzsche, have argued the opposite: Virtue offers no benefit to oneself and is good only for others.
Like all of us, I'm busy, but most days I manufacture the time to cook for my family. I braise beef ribs for hours, I let stock simmer all afternoon, I julienne vegetables till they're just right for the salad. It's slow, deliberate work. I move through the kitchen without hurry, letting things take the time they need. And when I do this, when I give a meal the patience it asks for, it shows. The flavors deepen.
Some people dream about having kids. Others hear a toddler scream at Target and know that parenthood definitely isn't in the cards. The truth is, not everyone is built for the wild, exhausting, beautiful journey of raising a child, so when Reddit user u/Hungry_South1377 asked, "What are some signs you should NOT become a parent?" what people didn't do was hold back.
I don't cut crusts off toast at breakfast time. If my kids don't want to eat the crust, they eat around it. I'm not lazy, I'm teaching life skills . It's a valuable lesson that you have to eat around the bits you don't like. My often passive parenting isn't me checking out; I'm intentionally stepping back so my kids have space to grow and work it out for themselves.