#behavior-change

#behavior-change

Switching off negativity may take a process that involves neuroplasticity. According to Puderbaugh and Emmady ( Journal of Behavioral Science, 2023), "Neuroplasticity, also known as neural plasticity or brain plasticity, is a process that involves adaptive structural and functional changes to the brain." Simply put, it is "the ability of the nervous system to change its activity in response to intrinsic or extrinsic stimuli by reorganizing its structure, functions, or connections."

We live in an era saturated with information. In a matter of minutes, we can find answers to both simple questions ("What's a good birthday gift for a 9-year-old boy?") and complex ones ("What's the optimal diet for a 40-year-old woman trying to build muscle?"). While some decisions are in fact deeply nuanced, most of the struggles that undermine our well-being are not caused by a lack of knowledge.

For those who have learned that love and safety are conditional, the new year can be triggering. The message is clear: To be loved and accepted, you have to be better. Be compliant. Do not need so much. Basically, who you are is not enough. To be loved, you have to be perfect. That is why rigid resolutions often collapse by February. Not because of a lack of willpower, but because change driven by shame rarely works.

I am someone who believes it is never too late to change. I think you can in fact teach an old dog new tricks, as long as the old dog is open-minded and willing to learn. As long as the old dog is willing to admit when it was wrong, and work to become a better dog. OK yes, I am the old dog. And the trick I am trying to learn, even though I am decrepit?

Despite spending the last 15 years studying behavior change, personality development, and developing evidence-based treatments, I still feel the pull. Why? Because wouldn't it be wonderful if meaningful change were quick and easy? The idea that a single insight, habit, or system could instantly transform how we think, feel, and behave is deeply appealing, especially when we're tired and overextended (which, of course, we are as the holidays come to a close).

I am lucky to have taken some incredible trips, including a recent one to "the end of the earth": the island of Tierra del Fuego, the southernmost point of South America. In a week, we traveled by boat and drove over 20 hours, seeing glaciers, beavers, a spotted seal, and passed two vehicles and two fishing boats. We saw more penguins than people.

A large meta-analysis pooling data from 129 independent tests across 67 published studies with over 17,700 participants found that self-affirmation produces significant, albeit modest, improvements in multiple aspects of well-being. These include stronger self-perception, enhanced general and social well-being, and reduced psychological barriers like anxiety and negative mood (Zhang, Chen, and Wang, 2025). And, these benefits are not fleeting; follow-up tests showed that long-term effects, especially in reducing psychological obstacles, were sometimes even stronger than immediate outcomes.

Our mental system constantly generates expectations about what will happen next, including what we ourselves are likely to do, think, or feel. These expectations are often outside of awareness, but they quietly shape our behavior: We tend to act, think, and feel in ways that fit our expectations. As a result, the system becomes self-reinforcing: When our expectations are confirmed, they grow stronger, making the predicted behavior feel even more natural next time.

"You're not a team player" is an example of feedback that makes an assertion about a person's character. The receiver of this feedback is likely to experience a "fight, flight, or freeze" response because the feedback conversation has just become deeply personal. As a result, the feedback will not be heard by the receiver and therefore misses the opportunity to promote learning, growth, or improvement.

In the 1960s and 70s, researchers showed that while people's actions are heavily influenced by the context around them, we tend to explain behavior by focusing on internal traits. This tendency, for example, to say someone was rude because they are a rude person, rather than because they were in a stressful situation, is called the Fundamental Attribution Error. We pay less attention to the context and attribute behavior to the content of a person's character.

To address hoarding, begin with the main principle: Your emotions and behaviors come from your thinking about situations, not from the situations themselves.This is good news! When your emotions or behaviors are undesirable, you're not defeated. You can identify the beliefs causing these emotions and behaviors and then change your thinking. So the first step in diagnosing a hoarding problem involves identifying the irrational thinking that's behind it.

In the cybersecurity world, fear is easy to sell. Headlines announce devastating breaches. Alerts warn us that phishing emails are on the rise. Yet for all the anxiety that cybersecurity messaging generates, it rarely leads to meaningful behavior change. In fact, scare tactics often backfire. People tune out. They freeze up. Or they file the message away under "someone else's problem."