Relationships
fromPsychology Today
1 day agoWhen Love Becomes a Question You Can't Stop Asking
Relationship OCD reflects growing anxiety around love and attachment, emphasizing the need to tolerate doubt to alleviate relationship-related anxiety.
"The desire to avoid stress can also lead people to delay sleep, especially if they are preoccupied with thoughts about unfinished tasks or upcoming challenges."
In a recent talk in Zurich, German psychoanalyst Konstantin Roessler surveyed the current state of dream research. Tracing some of the earlier scientific studies on dreams, he made a renewed case for the importance of dreams. Even formerly skeptical neuroscientists have now begun to see the meaning, purpose, and value of dreams for everyday life and overall psychic health. Dreams as Meaningless "Content"
Romantic Relationships Get Defined Any single person knows that the struggle of dating involves perpetually undefined relationships. Emotional detachment has been embedded in modern dating, from the language we use to the (loose, barely existent) script that guides how people enter romantic relationships. Even saying "dating" feels like a commitment. Instead, people "talk" when they're first getting to know each other; they "go out," but they don't "go on a date."
Attention is the brain's filtering mechanism; what passes through that filter is what gets encoded. What gets encoded becomes memory. And memory is the raw material of identity. So in the architecture of your identity, attention is the doorway.
For Plato, psyche meant something like what we'd now call mind -understood as a complex system requiring governance. The psyche had distinct parts: a reasoning part that deliberates, a spirited part that feels emotion and courage, and an appetitive part that desires. Each part has its own function and its own form of excellence. And crucially, these parts need to be governed-integrated under what Plato called constitutional self-rule.
For most of my life, I thought of myself as a fixed entity: This is me. These are my traits. This is who I am. I assumed I was essentially that same person who loved sugary cereal at age 8, fried chicken at 12, and tequila at 21, and who still loves those things now, even if my stomach disagrees. But this is an illusion. Neuroscience, physics, and Buddhism all agree: There is nothing fixed about us-not even close.
Unlike sight or sound, smell has a direct pathway to the amygdala and hippocampus-the regions involved in emotion and autobiographical memory. Because of this connection, memories triggered by scent are often more vivid and emotionally intense than those triggered by sight.
Most people recognize this feeling, even if they don't quite know what to call it. You cancel plans because being around others sounds exhausting. The quiet feels like relief. Then, a day later, you feel flat, lonely, or strangely restless. When you do see people again, you enjoy parts of it, but notice how quickly your energy runs out. For many people, this rhythm feels sharper and harder to interpret than it once did.
Research on parentification - the process where children are forced into adult emotional roles - shows that many of the people we admire for their composure developed it as a survival mechanism. They weren't born calm. They were made calm, usually by environments where someone's emotional dysregulation demanded that a child become the steady one.