Mindfulness
fromPsychology Today
5 minutes agoWhere the Resistance Lives
Internal resistance to emotions can block creativity and flow, but confronting difficult thoughts can restore movement and reduce tension.
#abuse-dynamics
#abuse-dynamics
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#mental-health #parenting #domestic-violence #relationships #communication #family-dynamics #psychology
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
4 hours agoThe person who thrives during a crisis and falls apart during ordinary weeks isn't broken. Their entire operating system was built for emergencies, and peace registers as a system error because they never learned what competence feels like without urgency underneath it. - Silicon Canals
Crisis-thrivers are often dysregulated, struggling with normalcy after emergencies, revealing a deeper issue with their nervous system's response to stress.
#parenting
Parenting
fromSlate Magazine
1 day agoMy Wife Is Struggling With a Very Basic Part of Parenting. I Can't Keep Swooping In to Save Her!
Managing emotional responses in parenting is crucial for effective problem-solving with young children.
fromPsychology Today
1 day agoGrief, Storytelling, and Identity
The concept album is a response to the brutal murder of Breedlove's father and stepmother at the hands of his stepbrother. The frame—the first song and the last—of the album is about the murders and their aftermath. But this is not a true crime record.
Music production
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
9 hours agoI'm 66 and I recently understood that the reason I find it so hard to ask for help is not independence - it is the very specific and very old belief that needing something from another person is the first step toward becoming a burden, and a burden, in the house I grew up in, was the one thing nobody was allowed to be - Silicon Canals
Independence can often mask fear, leading to a reluctance to ask for help and a belief that needing assistance is a weakness.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
8 hours agoPsychology says people who grew up in the 1960s and 70s don't handle hardship better than everyone else because they are stronger - they handle it better because they were never offered the alternative, and a person who was never offered the alternative develops a relationship with difficulty that people who were offered it spend their whole lives trying to build in a gym - Silicon Canals
Struggling is a norm for my generation because we never knew life could be comfortable.
fromwww.dw.com
4 days agoScotland: Abusive man gets 8 years prison for wife's suicide
Lee Milne physically and psychologically abused Kimberly Bruce (Milne) and our evidence showed that this abuse was a significant contributing factor in her death. He deliberately and ruthlessly exploited Kimberly's vulnerabilities, which makes him culpable for her decision to end her own life.
UK news
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
6 hours agoPsychology says people who were the emotional anchor for their families rarely experience loneliness as a single event. They experience it as a slow accounting where they realize the support only ever flowed in one direction and nobody designed a return current. - Silicon Canals
Family support often flows in one direction, with one person bearing the emotional load while others remain uninvolved.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoThere's a generation of people who were taught to apologize for their needs so effectively that as adults they experience wanting something as a form of aggression against whoever might have to provide it - Silicon Canals
Many adults associate expressing needs with guilt, viewing requests as impositions rather than natural interactions.
fromTiny Buddha
2 weeks agoEscaping an Abusive Situation: The Hardest Parts and Greatest Lessons - Tiny Buddha
For years, I had absorbed the chaos. I had made myself smaller, quieter, more accommodating. I had convinced myself that if I could just love harder, be better, try more, something would change. But in that moment, watching my child suffer at the hands of the man who was supposed to protect him, I understood with absolute clarity that nothing I did would ever be enough to fix this.
Mindfulness
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoPsychology says the adults most likely to end up in therapy aren't the ones who had dramatic or obviously painful childhoods - they're the ones who grew up in households where everything was technically fine, nobody was cruel, and something essential was quietly missing in a way that took decades to find the words for - Silicon Canals
Emotional neglect in seemingly fine childhoods can have profound effects, leaving individuals feeling their inner world doesn't matter.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoPsychology says adults who have no close friends aren't necessarily antisocial or unlikable. Many of them learned in childhood that being vulnerable leads to pain, and they grew up assuming that keeping people at a distance is safer - Silicon Canals
Many people appear self-sufficient but struggle with deep-seated fears of vulnerability due to early attachment experiences.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
5 days agoThe people who become the calmest adults are almost never the ones who had calm childhoods. They're the ones who grew up in houses where someone else's mood was the weather, and they learned to regulate the entire room before they ever learned to regulate themselves. - Silicon Canals
Children from chaotic homes can develop heightened emotional awareness and calmness, contrary to the belief that such environments only produce turbulence.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoNot everyone who keeps their personal life private is guarded. Some people tried sharing openly once, watched it become currency in someone else's conversation, and simply adjusted the distribution list permanently. - Silicon Canals
Privacy often emerges as a response to the violation of trust and openness, not as an inherent trait of individuals.
Psychology
fromwww.theguardian.com
2 days agoAfter her remission from cancer, Christine's friends abandoned her just when she needed them most | Bianca Denny
Support often diminishes after cancer remission, leaving survivors like Christine feeling abandoned and struggling with their psychological wellbeing.
#family-dynamics
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
4 days agoPsychology says the adults most likely to feel invisible in their own families are not the most difficult ones - they're the ones who made themselves so consistently available, so reliably capable, so quietly present, that everyone around them stopped noticing the person and started relying on the function - Silicon Canals
Reliability can lead to emotional invisibility within family dynamics, where the capable individual is overlooked despite their struggles.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoThe people who apologize the fastest in any disagreement aren't the most empathetic people in the room. They're the ones who learned early that conflict had a cost they couldn't afford, and the apology isn't resolution, it's a payment to make the danger stop. - Silicon Canals
A child's relationship with their mother predicts their security in all adult relationships, not just romantic ones.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
4 days agoPeople who always respond with "fine" when asked how they are aren't lying - they learned, at some specific point in their life, that the true answer produced outcomes that were worse than the silence, and fine has been the silence ever since - Silicon Canals
Personal experiences with anxiety and emotional responses reveal deeper truths about coping mechanisms and the challenges of authentic communication.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
6 days agoThere's a particular grief that hits when your parent asks you for help with something they used to do effortlessly, and neither of you acknowledges what just shifted. You both pretend it's a preference. It's not a preference. It's the first visible transfer of authority that neither of you consented to. - Silicon Canals
Aging parents often disguise their need for help as preference, masking the underlying shift in the parent-child power dynamic.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
5 days agoPeople who grew up watching their parents stay together unhappily often become adults who are simultaneously terrified of commitment and terrified of leaving. They inherited the architecture of endurance without ever being shown what it was supposed to protect - Silicon Canals
Children of unhappy marriages may develop relational paralysis, feeling unable to commit or leave due to learned endurance without understanding its purpose.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
4 days agoChildren who grew up in homes where one parent was the peacekeeper and the other was the storm almost always become adults who can read a room in seconds but have no idea what they actually feel when nobody else is in it - Silicon Canals
Emotional intelligence can stem from childhood experiences in volatile family dynamics, leading to heightened perception of others but self-blindness.
#emotional-abuse
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
3 weeks agoMy ex is a narcissist and the thing that surprised me most wasn't the damage they caused - it was the damage I couldn't prove. Because nothing they did would sound that bad in a sentence. A tone. A look. A pause before answering that made me feel like I'd said the wrong thing. A compliment that somehow left me feeling worse. The whole thing was built from materials too small to hold up in any conversation, and the loneliest part was knowing that what nearly destroyed me would sound like nothing to anyone wh
Emotional abuse often stems from subtle, cumulative moments rather than dramatic events, leading to significant internal harm over time.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
3 weeks agoMy ex is a narcissist and the thing that surprised me most wasn't the damage they caused - it was the damage I couldn't prove. Because nothing they did would sound that bad in a sentence. A tone. A look. A pause before answering that made me feel like I'd said the wrong thing. A compliment that somehow left me feeling worse. The whole thing was built from materials too small to hold up in any conversation, and the loneliest part was knowing that what nearly destroyed me would sound like nothing to anyone wh
Emotional abuse often stems from subtle, cumulative moments rather than dramatic events, leading to significant internal harm over time.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 week agoPsychology says the most damaging people in your life are rarely the obviously cruel ones - they're the ones who were kind just often enough to keep you doubting your own perception - Silicon Canals
Intermittent reinforcement creates confusion and self-doubt, making it difficult for individuals to recognize toxic relationships.
#silence
fromSilicon Canals
6 days agoPsychology
Not everyone who stays silent during an argument is shutting you out. Some of them grew up in houses where raised voices preceded things that couldn't be taken back, and their silence isn't withdrawal. It's the sound of someone trying very hard not to become a person they promised themselves they'd never be. - Silicon Canals
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
6 days agoNot everyone who goes quiet during an argument is punishing you. Some of them learned in childhood that their anger, once expressed, became the only thing anyone responded to, and the original hurt disappeared entirely. So they stopped expressing it. Not to win. To preserve the point. - Silicon Canals
Silence during conflict can stem from past trauma rather than being a power move.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
6 days agoNot everyone who stays silent during an argument is shutting you out. Some of them grew up in houses where raised voices preceded things that couldn't be taken back, and their silence isn't withdrawal. It's the sound of someone trying very hard not to become a person they promised themselves they'd never be. - Silicon Canals
Silence after an argument can signify deeper emotional struggles rather than mere avoidance or rejection.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
6 days agoNot everyone who goes quiet during an argument is punishing you. Some of them learned in childhood that their anger, once expressed, became the only thing anyone responded to, and the original hurt disappeared entirely. So they stopped expressing it. Not to win. To preserve the point. - Silicon Canals
Silence during conflict can stem from past trauma rather than being a power move.
fromPsychology Today
2 months agoProvoking & Recording in Domestic Abuse: Gaslighting in Action
He would back her into a corner and verbally abuse her for hours. And sometimes Sandra responded in ways that she now regrets-shouting at Gary, throwing things, and slamming doors in frustration. She separated from him to protect herself and the children from Gary's outbursts and coercive control. She was shocked when Gary filed for a protective order, claiming that she had abused him.
fromwww.independent.co.uk
1 month agoOne economic abuse victim dies every three weeks, new report says
Economic abuse, a pervasive form of coercive control, is linked to the death of a victim every three weeks across England and Wales, new analysis reveals. The charity Surviving Economic Abuse (SEA) described the findings as a 'wake-up call', emphasising that this type of abuse 'is not just a money problem' but a significant danger.
Social justice
#domestic-violence
Relationships
fromIndependent
2 weeks agoAsking for a friend: 'My partner got really angry and hit me. They apologised a few days later but now keep telling me I just need to get over it'
Experiencing physical violence from a partner creates feelings of isolation and confusion about the relationship's future.
Relationships
fromIndependent
2 weeks agoAsking for a friend: 'My partner got really angry and hit me. They apologised a few days later but now keep telling me I just need to get over it'
Experiencing physical violence from a partner creates feelings of isolation and confusion about the relationship's future.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 week agoPsychology says people who apologize constantly without realizing it are more damaged than they appear - because they internalize blame and absorb conflict, a survival response from childhood, which never switches off even when they're safe - Silicon Canals
Excessive apologizing often stems from childhood experiences of mistreatment and can lead to chronic self-blame in adulthood.
fromPsychology Today
1 month agoExplaining Covert Narcissistic Abuse When They Can't Relate
Explaining covert narcissistic abuse to someone who has never experienced it can be especially difficult, even if they mean well and are trying to help. Much of what is available online oversimplifies covert narcissism or groups behavioral patterns of both overt and covert narcissism into a single concept. Covert narcissism shows up distinctly from the loud and brash behavior most people associate with narcissists. Its patterns are often subtle and can be mistaken for shyness or humility.
Psychology
fromwww.theguardian.com
2 months agoWhen low contact' doesn't mean healing but coercion | Letters
What concerned me most was the lack of acknowledgment of how this trend overlaps with the rise in coercive control. One of the first warning signs of an abusive partner is encouraging someone to isolate from family and friends. How confusing must it be for people to see that behaviour supported in online messaging. Isolation is a major red flag for domestic abuse, and we should be helping young people to recognise that.
Relationships
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