#golden-dreams

#golden-dreams

Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars. I was born with spina bifida and faced multiple surgeries, leading to uncertainty about my ability to walk again. Despite the fear and pain, I refused to accept paralysis as my fate.

At the height of my success as a realtor in Washington, there was a moment when I was being offered incredibly high-valued listings. People were calling me and offering me opportunities that I had worked so hard to get, and in that moment where one might expect me to feel victorious or excited, I felt nothing. I received a call and was offered an amazing listing, in one of the best locations in Washington and my first thought was, no.

Here's something that might sound counterintuitive: people who achieve their goals don't actually take them that seriously. Wait, what? Let me explain. While goal-setters treat their objectives like sacred vows they can't break (and then feel crushed when they fail), achievers approach them more like scientists in a lab. They're curious about what will happen, not attached to a specific outcome.

People at peace with aging don't stop exploring. They take up watercolor painting at fifty-five. They join book clubs discussing genres they've never read. They learn new technologies instead of complaining about them. This isn't about proving anything to anyone. It's about maintaining that sense of wonder that keeps life interesting. When you're genuinely engaged with learning something new, you spend less time lamenting what used to be.

In the interview, Tweedy dropped a line that's been echoing in my head, "Do not postpone happiness." This is so deceptively simple yet psychologically sharp, and it rings true to how I try to live my life. Most of us don't mean to delay joy. We tell ourselves we're being responsible: After this deadline...after the kids are older...After I lose the weight...After I finally feel less anxious...then I'll really live.

The following by John Steinbeck supports a well-lived life. "Greatness lies in the one who triumphs equally over defeat and victory." Steinbeck is encouraging us to risk fully participating in life, with both defeat and victory being inevitable. It means living life on life's terms, doing what we can to minimize being defeated by either defeat or victory. Let's look more closely at what it means to be defeated by defeat.

Personality traits are simply labels that summarize typical patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving. For example, some people tend to interpret situations pessimistically, while others naturally expect things to work out. Some react quickly with irritation when they're inconvenienced, whereas others are more inclined to assume good intentions. Some people plan ahead meticulously, while others rely on last-minute bursts of effort.

While goals can create structure in your life, give you something to strive for, and even inspire you, reaching the goal itself is a result of what you do to get there. The actions you take are the process-how you're actually filling the time that is your life. Sometimes, if you're lucky, what you do is fulfilling; it brings out the best in you-your talents, interests, and skills.