UX design
fromMedium
4 hours agoAre we makers by nature-or consumers by design?
The relationship between creation and consumption is strained, impacting designers' creativity and cognitive processes.
#heterofatalism
#heterofatalism
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#lgbtq #mental-health #identity #loneliness #psychology #relationships #anxiety #masculinity #emotional-health
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
8 hours agoI want to say something that my generation rarely says out loud: being tough your whole life doesn't actually protect you from loneliness - it just means you're better at hiding it from everyone, including yourself - Silicon Canals
Being tough can lead to loneliness and isolation, as it prevents genuine connections and vulnerability.
Productivity
fromSilicon Canals
8 hours agoPsychology says people who need to finish the chapter before they can put the book down aren't obsessive - their brain treats an unfinished narrative the same way it treats an unresolved argument, as an open loop that will consume background processing power until it closes, and that inability to stop mid-chapter isn't about the book, it's about a mind that cannot rest inside something incomplete - Silicon Canals
The brain's need for closure drives the compulsion to finish reading or resolving incomplete tasks.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoI'm 66 and I've realized that there's a specific kind of exhaustion that belongs to people who spent four decades being the one who always said yes - it doesn't show up as burnout, it shows up as a faint feeling that your life belongs to everyone except you - Silicon Canals
Burnout stems from a lack of personal agency, not just exhaustion from overcommitment.
Writing
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoWe boomers were handed a very clear script for what a successful life was supposed to look like, and a lot of us followed it - only to find that from the inside, it felt like wearing someone else's coat for thirty years. - Silicon Canals
Following a prescribed life script can lead to feelings of living someone else's life despite achieving traditional success.
#identity
Bootstrapping
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoThe reason some men never move forward in life has nothing to do with motivation or discipline - it's that they built their entire identity around a version of themselves that stopped being true years ago, and starting over feels like admitting it was all wasted - Silicon Canals
Many individuals struggle to update their identities after past failures, clinging to outdated self-perceptions.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoPsychology says people who are warm in public but distant in private aren't being fake in either setting - they've built an entire social identity around the version of themselves that performs well in rooms and they genuinely don't know who shows up when the room is empty - Silicon Canals
People may develop a polished public persona that overshadows their true self, leading to a disconnect between social performance and personal identity.
#success
fromSilicon Canals
5 days agoCareers
I'm 66 and I finally realized that I've spent my entire adult life chasing a version of success that my father defined in 1985 - and the reason I feel so empty now isn't because I failed, it's because I succeeded at building someone else's dream and called it mine - Silicon Canals
#friendship
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
3 hours agoPsychology says people who reach their 60s without close friends aren't the ones who lost everyone along the way - many of them made a series of quiet, deliberate choices over decades to stop investing in relationships that required them to perform, accommodate, or shrink, and what looks like loneliness from the outside is often the result of finally choosing themselves - Silicon Canals
Many older adults choose solitude over draining relationships, prioritizing deeper connections over maintaining superficial friendships.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoPeople don't stay in friendships they've outgrown because they're weak - they stay because identity is bound up in being the kind of person who doesn't abandon people - Silicon Canals
People stay in outgrown friendships due to their identity being tied to the idea of not leaving, not out of cowardice or weakness.
#loneliness
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
5 hours agoThe loneliest people at any gathering are almost never the ones standing alone by the wall. They're the ones laughing in the middle of the group who will drive home afterward in complete silence and not call anyone about it. - Silicon Canals
Loneliness often stems from being surrounded by people who believe they know you, rather than from physical absence.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
3 days agoLoneliness doesn't always look like an empty room. Sometimes it looks like a person who laughs at every joke, remembers every birthday, shows up at every event, and drives home afterward in total silence wondering why none of it ever reaches the part of them that's still starving. - Silicon Canals
Social starvation and social performance can coexist, leading to a deeper crisis of loneliness that isn't solely defined by the absence of social contact.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
1 week agoPsychology says the loneliness of having no close friends is not the same loneliness of being isolated - it is the loneliness of being consistently almost known, of spending years in relationships that go up to the edge of real intimacy and stop, and the stopping is always the same stopping and it is always your own hand on the door - Silicon Canals
Real connection requires depth, not just quantity, in relationships to avoid feelings of isolation.
fromSilicon Canals
5 days agoRelationships
The cruelest form of loneliness isn't having nobody. It's having people who love you in a way that doesn't quite reach the part of you that needs reaching, so you feel guilty for still being hungry at a table that everyone else thinks is full. - Silicon Canals
Loneliness can persist even in loving relationships when emotional needs remain unmet and unexpressed.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
5 hours agoThe loneliest people at any gathering are almost never the ones standing alone by the wall. They're the ones laughing in the middle of the group who will drive home afterward in complete silence and not call anyone about it. - Silicon Canals
Loneliness often stems from being surrounded by people who believe they know you, rather than from physical absence.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoPsychology says the most dangerous form of loneliness isn't being alone. It's being surrounded by people while performing a version of yourself that none of them would recognize if they saw you at home on a Sunday afternoon. - Silicon Canals
The gap between one's public persona and private self creates a profound sense of loneliness.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
3 days agoLoneliness doesn't always look like an empty room. Sometimes it looks like a person who laughs at every joke, remembers every birthday, shows up at every event, and drives home afterward in total silence wondering why none of it ever reaches the part of them that's still starving. - Silicon Canals
Social starvation and social performance can coexist, leading to a deeper crisis of loneliness that isn't solely defined by the absence of social contact.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
1 week agoPsychology says the loneliness of having no close friends is not the same loneliness of being isolated - it is the loneliness of being consistently almost known, of spending years in relationships that go up to the edge of real intimacy and stop, and the stopping is always the same stopping and it is always your own hand on the door - Silicon Canals
Real connection requires depth, not just quantity, in relationships to avoid feelings of isolation.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
5 days agoThe cruelest form of loneliness isn't having nobody. It's having people who love you in a way that doesn't quite reach the part of you that needs reaching, so you feel guilty for still being hungry at a table that everyone else thinks is full. - Silicon Canals
Loneliness can persist even in loving relationships when emotional needs remain unmet and unexpressed.
LGBT
fromSlate Magazine
2 days agoThe Right Thinks I Don't Exist. The Left Thinks I'm a Liability. I'm Just Trying to Figure Out How to Live.
Transgender individuals in America face increasing legislative attacks, yet embracing authenticity and gender expansiveness is crucial for survival and fulfillment.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
3 days agoPsychology suggests men who are deeply unhappy in life but hide it well aren't being strong - they're running a performance that costs them every real connection they have, and the people closest to them almost never see it coming - Silicon Canals
Men often mask their depression with busyness and distraction, making it difficult to recognize their true emotional state.
fromQueerty
4 days agoSpectacle or support? The complicated visibility of trans youth in film & TV - Queerty
Since the 1990s, a largely underground upwelling of trans creativity has helped new trans identities, communities, and political movements come together. Trans Cinema provides an entryway to the wildly diverse and creative cinema made by trans creators, including those who are BIPOC.
LGBT
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoResearch suggests that people who say they prefer being alone aren't always telling the truth. Many of them preferred connection until it repeatedly disappointed them, and solitude became the story they told to make the disappointment portable. - Silicon Canals
Solitude is often misinterpreted as a preference, when it may actually be an adaptation to past relational failures.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
4 days agoPsychology says people who were the emotional anchor for their families rarely experience loneliness as a single event. They experience it as a slow accounting where they realize the support only ever flowed in one direction and nobody designed a return current. - Silicon Canals
Family support often flows in one direction, with one person bearing the emotional load while others remain uninvolved.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
3 days agoThere's a version of strength that only develops in people who had to figure out the rules of a place nobody explained to them. They don't talk about it because the people who had the rules handed to them wouldn't understand what was hard about it, and the people who also had to figure it out don't need the explanation. - Silicon Canals
Onsighting in climbing parallels navigating social systems, emphasizing perceptual capacity over resilience in understanding unwritten rules.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
2 weeks agoThere is a particular loneliness in being a man whose body never matched the archetype he was taught to aspire to. Not because anyone was cruel about it, but because the world built its furniture, its expectations, and its respect around a size he would never reach. - Silicon Canals
Body image issues in men stem from societal expectations and architectural norms, leading to a profound, often unacknowledged loneliness.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
4 days agoPsychology says people who grew up in the 1960s and 70s don't handle hardship better than everyone else because they are stronger - they handle it better because they were never offered the alternative, and a person who was never offered the alternative develops a relationship with difficulty that people who were offered it spend their whole lives trying to build in a gym - Silicon Canals
Struggling is a norm for my generation because we never knew life could be comfortable.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
2 weeks agoPsychology says people who crave both complete freedom and deep companionship aren't confused - they're experiencing the central tension of the human condition, and the people who resolve it aren't the ones who choose a side but the ones who stop treating it like a choice - Silicon Canals
The autonomy-connection paradox highlights the human need for both independence and intimacy in relationships.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 weeks agoThere's a specific exhaustion that belongs to people who spent decades being exactly what everyone needed them to be - and then one day realized they couldn't remember what they needed - Silicon Canals
People-pleasing leads to losing one's identity and can result in profound exhaustion and disconnection from self.
fromThe Atlantic
3 weeks agoHomophobia Is Back. It's Different Now.
LaBeouf hasn't anchored a box-office hit in more than a decade, and little of his 2020s art-house work has drawn buzz. The most notable thing he's starred in lately was a clip of him on a podcaster's couch, hunched and diminished, talking about his fear of gay people.
LGBT
fromPsychology Today
1 month agoThe Good Deaths of People Who Never Marry
People who had never married 'generally fared as well as, if not better than, married persons.' They also found that people who had no children were no different from parents in the quality of their life in their last month.
Mental health
SF LGBT
fromLGBTQ Nation
1 month agoCompulsory heterosexuality is thwarting pleasure & hindering gender liberation. We can change that. - LGBTQ Nation
Trans women can deconstruct femininity built around male desire and reconstruct authentic womanhood through self-directed pleasure and relationships centered on mutual connection rather than male validation.
fromApaonline
2 months agoPhilosophy at the Threshold of Belonging
I grew up in West Baltimore where I experienced homelessness for almost the entirety of high school. For me, philosophy emerged in situations of precarity and uncertainty. Those formative years, spent not so much in a single home as in a patchwork of many, shaped what are now some of my central philosophical concerns: belonging, exclusion, and the status of those at the margins of society, those at the threshold of belonging.
Philosophy
LGBT
fromLGBTQ Nation
1 month agoSupermodel says only women can be bisexual: "Double standards exist for us all" - LGBTQ Nation
Jessica White's statement that bisexuality is acceptable for women but not men sparked controversy and amplified biphobic attitudes, with experts attributing such stigma to toxic masculinity and rigid gender expectations.
fromPsychology Today
2 months agoThe Power of Beliefs: How to Stop Surrendering Your Agency
When Serena Williams strode onto the Wimbledon grass, her legendary power was never in question. Her serve was crushing. Her backhand was unstoppable. But she wouldn't go to the net. She'd see a short ball, the kind that screams "approach," and she would hesitate to volley and miss the point. Serena was not playing at her full potential because of a story in her head.
Psychology
Relationships
fromPinkNews | Latest lesbian, gay, bi and trans news | LGBTQ+ news
2 months agoAre you practising relationship anarchy without even knowing it?
Relationship anarchy applies non-hierarchical, anarchist principles to relationships, rejecting preset rules and emphasizing autonomy, honesty, and diverse supportive connections.
fromQueerty
1 month agoI'm non-binary. I told my gay best friend I had feelings... & he vanished. Was it me-or my gender? - Queerty
I had a close male friend who is openly gay (I am non-binary, assigned female at birth). We had a lot in common, became close really quickly, and started spending a lot of time together. Slowly, I realized I was falling for him, and one evening after a party, I confessed. On the spot, he took it really well. He said his feelings are entirely platonic and that he likes me as a person.
LGBT
fromLGBTQ Nation
2 months ago"We are literally just people": A trans man wonders how his mere existence can be seen as a threat - LGBTQ Nation
I don't think there was a single day this year when I wasn't worried about every single queer person in this country. I have family members who are queer, who are trans, myself included. I see queer people every day online speaking about how terrified they are of losing jobs, healthcare, and being attacked. I see our rights on the verge of being stripped away as we are treated like threats, like something awful.
LGBT
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