#the-perfect-neighbor

#the-perfect-neighbor

I inherited my house while I was still in college. I had no clue what to do as a homeowner so I invited my 'aunt and uncle' to live with me after they got priced out of their apartment.

Most people leave doctor visits with prescriptions, but still feel unsure—instructions make sense, but no one asks about their life. In contrast, when a provider knows your name, remembers your story, and explains care in a way that fits you, the experience feels different—and that difference matters.

In this issue of the HBR Executive Agenda, editor at large Adi Ignatius talks to Harvard Business School professor Ranjay Gulati about how leaders can act with clarity amid rising social tension and rapid technological change.

Our research, published in the European Journal of Work and Organizational Psychology, suggests that people often hesitate to intervene when co-workers are mistreated because they themselves feel disempowered in their organizations and experience distrust and polarization. Our findings run counter to the common assumption that people don't step up to support marginalized colleagues because they don't care or are unmotivated. Not seeing much action against inequity and injustice can drive this cynical idea.

People say it takes a village to do difficult things: raise a child, sustain a community, build a barn. But we don't often talk a lot about what it takes to be a villager. What does it mean to not just be in a community, but to help create one? Priya Parker, author of The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters, says the key is to put yourself out there, even if it's scary.

"I feel like it was easier to connect with other transplants," she said. "Everyone seemed to revolve around hobby-based communities."

But what you have the right to do is not always the action that will lead to the most happiness for you. In fact, if you insist upon escalating before exploring a gentler approach, you will often make things worse. So your wife isn't entirely full of it. Tense relationships with neighbors really do make a lot of people miserable, and it makes sense that she'd want to avoid pissing off people who live within shouting distance and are apparently pretty combative.