Psychology
fromPsychology Today
11 hours agoWhen Arousal Isn't Desire
Intensity in attraction can stem from anxiety or early relational patterns, not just desire.
In 2013, when Meredith O'Connor was 16, the music video for her debut single "Celebrity" went viral. Afterward, she channeled her own stardom into championing childhood mental health: As a hyperactive kid, O'Connor says she was often the subject of bullying, and when her music career gave her a platform, she was eager to use it to advocate on behalf of other victims. "I knew my fan base was younger, but I didn't know how many people would resonate with mental health challenges," she says. "I realized there were millions of gifted people that are being marginalized, and that's when I really wanted to start the mental health study."
I am a worrier, and have been for most of my life. At some point, someone dear and smart teased me that I worry about the wrong things. The things that hit me, she noted, were never the things I worried about. For a while that left me feeling like an incompetent worrier-until my research caught up. I realized that the things I worry about often don't end up hurting me precisely because worrying helps me diffuse them ahead of time.