#routine

#routine

For many challenged by struggles and mental health issues, days may feel oddly distant from any sense of well-being, as languishing, depression, sadness, or falling back into unhealthy addictive propensities begin to emerge. These thoughts may even encourage maladaptive behaviors or the temptation to roll back into unhealthy habits, relinquishing control to "feeling processes" that have hijacked logic. People may express these moments in terms of feeling "off" or "not fully present."

Most students, when they're struggling mid-semester, are feeling overwhelmed but don't actually need advice or solutions. This goes against our instinct as parents-we want to solve the problem and eradicate their pain. Don't do it. They already know what to do; they're just struggling to do it. This is where hard, messy lessons occur. Instead, validate how they're feeling. Don't agree with them; just acknowledge how hard this time is for them. Listen with the intent of understanding rather than solving.

Nearly 30 years ago, we went on a vacation with my two little boys to Sanibel Island. We chose a pizza place because, why not? But the pizza they served was, of course, different from our pizza at home. I remember watching with dismay as my oldest son, Nat, who has fairly profound autism, took a bite, scrunched up his face, and said, "Vacation" with angry tears in his voice.

In 2013, on a particularly challenging morning, my coffee machine broke right after my son was diagnosed with leukemia. I was utterly exhausted and scared, needing that caffeine boost to manage my emotions and responsibilities.

"My mother would say to me, if you're one minute late, it's the same as being an hour late," he recalled.

If you've been meaning to get good at something, whether it's a hobby, craft, or a skill you need for work, you're going to need to study, focus, and most importantly, practice.