Psychology
fromPsychology Today
10 hours agoHow Social Class Shapes Identity
Social class influences identity and emotional well-being, often unnoticed, leading to anxiety and low self-esteem when transitioning between classes.
#gendered-socialization
#gendered-socialization
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#mental-health #lgbtq #relationships #masculinity #parenting #identity #psychology #family-dynamics #personal-growth
#emotional-suppression
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
17 hours agoMost men who grew up in the 1960s and 70s were taught that admitting you needed help was a character flaw. Finally, we are discovering that openness has its own kind of strength. - Silicon Canals
Men are taught to suppress emotions, leading to loneliness and health issues.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoMy father worked two jobs my entire childhood and I never once heard him complain - and now that I understand what that cost him, I can't stop crying about a man who never cried once - Silicon Canals
Silence can be a heavy burden, leading to unexpressed needs and emotional suppression that negatively impacts health and longevity.
#parenting
Parenting
fromScary Mommy
1 day agoThis Mom Is Tired Of Being Called "No Fun" For Enforcing Basic Parenting Rules
Enforcing parenting routines often leads to being perceived as the 'bad guy' by family members.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
8 hours agoI realized this year that every relationship I've stayed too long in was one where I had to be quieter to make it work - Silicon Canals
Compromising in relationships can lead to diminishing one's authentic self, resulting in a quieter, less expressive version of oneself.
#identity
Bootstrapping
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoThe reason some men never move forward in life has nothing to do with motivation or discipline - it's that they built their entire identity around a version of themselves that stopped being true years ago, and starting over feels like admitting it was all wasted - Silicon Canals
Many individuals struggle to update their identities after past failures, clinging to outdated self-perceptions.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoPsychology says people who are warm in public but distant in private aren't being fake in either setting - they've built an entire social identity around the version of themselves that performs well in rooms and they genuinely don't know who shows up when the room is empty - Silicon Canals
People may develop a polished public persona that overshadows their true self, leading to a disconnect between social performance and personal identity.
#transgender-rights
LGBT
fromSlate Magazine
1 day agoThe Right Thinks I Don't Exist. The Left Thinks I'm a Liability. I'm Just Trying to Figure Out How to Live.
Transgender individuals in America face increasing legislative attacks, yet embracing authenticity and gender expansiveness is crucial for survival and fulfillment.
LGBT
fromInside Higher Ed | Higher Education News, Events and Jobs
2 weeks agoAcknowledgment of Violence Against Black Trans Girls, Women
Legislative actions increasingly target transgender rights, particularly affecting Black women and girls, compounding their vulnerability to violence and discrimination.
#masculinity
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 weeks agoThere is a specific kind of masculinity that comes not from dominance but from integrity, calmness, and emotional steadiness - they make others feel safe - Silicon Canals
True strength in masculinity is calm, steady, and emotionally safe, contrasting with loud, dominant behaviors often mistaken for confidence.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoI grew up in a family where asking for help was the same as admitting weakness - and now I'm 66 and sitting alone with problems I don't know how to solve because I never learned how to say "I'm struggling" - Silicon Canals
Asking for help is often perceived as a weakness, rooted in deep-seated beliefs about masculinity and self-reliance.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 weeks agoThere is a specific kind of masculinity that comes not from dominance but from integrity, calmness, and emotional steadiness - they make others feel safe - Silicon Canals
True strength in masculinity is calm, steady, and emotionally safe, contrasting with loud, dominant behaviors often mistaken for confidence.
fromFast Company
1 day agoWhy workplaces need a gendered health approach
For decades, work was designed around a fiction, that of the 'neutral' worker, an abstract individual assumed to be fully available, consistent, rational, and unaffected by bodily constraints. But this neutrality was never real.
Women
fromPsychology Today
1 week agoThe Degendering of English
The most obvious example is the adoption of the singular 'they' to replace clunky constructions like 'he or she' and 'he/she.' Language purists argue that this is ungrammatical, even though 'they' has been employed in just this way by authors as diverse as Chaucer, Shakespeare, Austen, Dickinson, and Shaw.
Typography
fromwww.theguardian.com
3 days agoMy month in the tradwife world: I can't pretend I'm not enjoying myself at all ...'
No one I know wants to go spend their one wild and magical life being a shill for some billionaire tech asshole, says Shannon, a character in Yesteryear, the buzzy new novel about a tradwife influencer by Caro Claire Burke.
Writing
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
5 hours agoThe people who say they don't care what others think are almost never telling the whole truth. What they actually did was move the audience inward, and now they perform for a private version of the same judges they claim to have escaped. - Silicon Canals
Indifference to others' opinions often masks internalized judgment rather than true freedom from social conformity.
fromApaonline
1 week agoOn the Insufficiency of Current Gender Equality Policies in Academia and the Necessity of a Cultural Shift
In 2021, women held only 28% of professorships in higher education and research institutions, even though they comprised 48% of PhD students, according to data gathered from a sample of 900 EU and non-EU institutions.
Philosophy
#friendship
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoI'm in my thirties and I finally understand that the friendships I lost weren't lost because I changed. They were lost because I stopped performing the version of me that made the relationship possible, and nobody told me that was what had been holding it together - Silicon Canals
Friendships often end not due to change, but when one person stops the emotional labor that sustains them.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoPsychology suggests men who are deeply unhappy in life but hide it well aren't being strong - they're running a performance that costs them every real connection they have, and the people closest to them almost never see it coming - Silicon Canals
Men often mask their depression with busyness and distraction, making it difficult to recognize their true emotional state.
fromQueerty
3 days agoSpectacle or support? The complicated visibility of trans youth in film & TV - Queerty
Since the 1990s, a largely underground upwelling of trans creativity has helped new trans identities, communities, and political movements come together. Trans Cinema provides an entryway to the wildly diverse and creative cinema made by trans creators, including those who are BIPOC.
LGBT
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoPsychology says the art of not caring what others think isn't something you decide to do one day - it's a quiet skill built over years of noticing how much of your life was being shaped by opinions of people who weren't actually paying attention to you in the first place - Silicon Canals
People overestimate how much others notice their actions and appearance, leading to unnecessary self-consciousness.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
4 days agoPsychology says the adults most likely to end up in therapy aren't the ones who had dramatic or obviously painful childhoods - they're the ones who grew up in households where everything was technically fine, nobody was cruel, and something essential was quietly missing in a way that took decades to find the words for - Silicon Canals
Emotional neglect in seemingly fine childhoods can have profound effects, leaving individuals feeling their inner world doesn't matter.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
4 days agoPeople raised in the 1960s and 70s didn't have optimized morning routines - they had chores, a bus to catch, and parents who didn't negotiate, and somehow that produced adults who know how to begin things without being ready - Silicon Canals
Morning routines have shifted from simple survival tasks to complex, optimized rituals filled with self-care and intention.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoThe person who always says 'I don't mind, you choose' isn't easygoing. They learned that having a visible preference made them a target, and disappearing into someone else's choice became the safest place in the room. - Silicon Canals
Preference-erasure is a survival strategy developed in childhood, often misinterpreted as easygoing behavior, masking deeper emotional suppression.
#body-image
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
1 week agoThere is a particular loneliness in being a man whose body never matched the archetype he was taught to aspire to. Not because anyone was cruel about it, but because the world built its furniture, its expectations, and its respect around a size he would never reach. - Silicon Canals
Body image issues in men stem from societal expectations and architectural norms, leading to a profound, often unacknowledged loneliness.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
3 days agoI'm 66 and I recently understood that the reason I find it so hard to ask for help is not independence - it is the very specific and very old belief that needing something from another person is the first step toward becoming a burden, and a burden, in the house I grew up in, was the one thing nobody was allowed to be - Silicon Canals
Independence can often mask fear, leading to a reluctance to ask for help and a belief that needing assistance is a weakness.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoThe people who talk about their childhood like it was fine but can't remember most of it aren't lying. The absence of memory and the absence of trauma feel identical from the inside until something cracks the seal, and by then the person has built an entire adult identity on the version where nothing happened. - Silicon Canals
Childhood amnesia affects memory retention, leading to a lack of vivid recollections from early years despite having a normal upbringing.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoThere's a version of strength that only develops in people who had to figure out the rules of a place nobody explained to them. They don't talk about it because the people who had the rules handed to them wouldn't understand what was hard about it, and the people who also had to figure it out don't need the explanation. - Silicon Canals
Onsighting in climbing parallels navigating social systems, emphasizing perceptual capacity over resilience in understanding unwritten rules.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
3 days agoPsychology says people who grew up in the 1960s and 70s don't handle hardship better than everyone else because they are stronger - they handle it better because they were never offered the alternative, and a person who was never offered the alternative develops a relationship with difficulty that people who were offered it spend their whole lives trying to build in a gym - Silicon Canals
Struggling is a norm for my generation because we never knew life could be comfortable.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
1 week agoPsychology suggests that men who were told "man up" as boys don't just suppress their emotions - they develop a pattern of harmful avoidance and it's misread as strength - Silicon Canals
Emotional suppression in men leads to serious health risks and relationship issues, as societal norms discourage vulnerability and expression of feelings.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
5 days agoNot everyone who keeps their personal life private is guarded. Some people tried sharing openly once, watched it become currency in someone else's conversation, and simply adjusted the distribution list permanently. - Silicon Canals
Privacy often emerges as a response to the violation of trust and openness, not as an inherent trait of individuals.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
5 days agoThere's a generation of people who were taught to apologize for their needs so effectively that as adults they experience wanting something as a form of aggression against whoever might have to provide it - Silicon Canals
Many adults associate expressing needs with guilt, viewing requests as impositions rather than natural interactions.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
6 days agoPeople who stop trying to be liked are often accused of having an attitude - by the people who most benefited from them having none - Silicon Canals
Setting boundaries often leads to others perceiving you as difficult or having an attitude problem, despite unchanged competence.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
1 week agoThere's a generation of men who were taught that providing was the same as loving. And there's a generation of their children who spent years in therapy learning that those aren't the same thing, only to reach an age where they finally understand that for their fathers, inside the architecture they were given, it was. - Silicon Canals
Emotional estrangement between fathers and children stems from generational differences in expressing love and vulnerability.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 week agoMost families have one person everyone loves but nobody genuinely listens to - and psychology says that person almost always knows exactly who they are, has known for decades, and long ago stopped hoping anyone else would figure it out - Silicon Canals
Family dynamics often lead to certain voices being unheard, creating an invisible hierarchy that affects communication and connection.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 week agoPeople who clean before the cleaner arrives, apologize when someone bumps into them, and pre-explain before anyone has asked for a justification all grew up in homes where taking up space without earning it first was treated as an act of aggression. - Silicon Canals
Cleaning before the cleaner reflects a deeper issue of feeling unworthy of help without prior justification.
Left-wing politics
fromwww.theguardian.com
2 months agoThe right has won the family': why are there so few lefty momfluencers?
Polished mommy-influencer content soothes with domestic routines but sparks anxiety about creators' politics, driving a desire for algorithmic feeds that confirm progressive values.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
4 weeks agoI grew up watching my mother apologize to my father for having opinions and I spent twenty years thinking I'd broken the pattern until my partner said 'you always start your sentences with sorry' and I heard her voice come out of my mouth. - Silicon Canals
Intergenerational relationship patterns persist in automatic physical and verbal behaviors despite conscious awareness, operating below the level of deliberate choice.
SF LGBT
fromLGBTQ Nation
1 month agoCompulsory heterosexuality is thwarting pleasure & hindering gender liberation. We can change that. - LGBTQ Nation
Trans women can deconstruct femininity built around male desire and reconstruct authentic womanhood through self-directed pleasure and relationships centered on mutual connection rather than male validation.
LGBT
fromLGBTQ Nation
1 month agoSupermodel says only women can be bisexual: "Double standards exist for us all" - LGBTQ Nation
Jessica White's statement that bisexuality is acceptable for women but not men sparked controversy and amplified biphobic attitudes, with experts attributing such stigma to toxic masculinity and rigid gender expectations.
fromSlate Magazine
2 months agoHelp! There's an Unspoken Rule About What Makes a "Good Woman." It All Comes Down to One Chore.
One of my late mother's widowed friends made the comment, "Finally I can have a scrambled egg for dinner. I'm never making another meatloaf again." And this was a woman who had loved her husband and had a pretty good marriage. Her grown kids were upset that when they came home to visit, "Mama isn't cooking anymore!" Yeah, Mama didn't care.
Relationships
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