Paulo Coelho's assertion that he can endure defeats and pain but cannot tolerate boredom underscores a common human aversion to dull experiences. However, research indicates that avoiding seemingly tedious conversations can lead to missing out on significant mood boosts and health benefits derived from social connections.
Many people going through grief, infertility, loss, or prolonged stress find themselves quietly withdrawing from family gatherings, holidays, baby showers, weddings, and even casual get-togethers. Often, this is explained in terms of not wanting to get triggered. That explanation is valid. Triggers are real, and the emotional pain can be sharp, sudden, and last for hours. Framed this way, stepping back can feel like a very good form of self-care.
Complementary research conducted mostly with cisgender sexual minority men suggests that those who are high on anxious attachment-those most worried that people will not love them or find them good enough-are generally more likely to have anal sex without using a condom (Starks et al., 2017; Starks & Parsons, 2014). In other words, guys who are worried that a boyfriend or partner will think they are not good enough are more likely to agree to have sex "bareback."
